Kozhikode: MT Vasudevan Nair stepped into the world of writing along a narrow path, flanked by his mother’s tears on one side and the crystal-clear waters of the Nila on the other. In every mother he wrote about, a piece of his own was reflected, just as every river he described echoed the Nila. Yet, a sense of incompleteness haunted him. “I haven’t told the stories fully. There’s still more left, and I’m keeping it safe within me. I hope my mother will forgive me,” he said.

MT's mother passed away when he was at Victoria College, Palakkad. The last time he saw her was at the railway station, where she was being taken to Madras for cancer treatment. The final memory of her, when she pressed a silver coin into his hand just before the train departed, remains vivid. This was the only time she had ever given him such a `kaineettam’, a forever-etched gesture in his heart.

For his mother, life revolved around feeding her children, even when the food at home was barely enough. After each meal, she would ask, “Was there enough? Is your stomach full?” There was a helplessness in her questions, but she never voiced it aloud. MT reflected on this in his writings while recalling one of his childhood birthdays;

`She never thought there should be a grand feast to celebrate my birthday. Life was difficult, and her thoughts never strayed to things like ‘my son didn’t celebrate his birthday’ or ‘he didn’t receive a `Vishu Kaineettam’ this year.’ For children like me, there was no one even to give such gifts.’’

The prosperity under his father’s care ended during MT’s early childhood. He only heard stories of those better times. Yet, he carried a sense of resentment toward his father for much of his life. In the later part of his life, MT used to introspect within himself as to why he had harboured such feelings toward his father

His father, in turn, made no effort to hide his disdain for MT, the youngest son born, despite his strong desire not to have more children. “Look at this fellow,” his father would say dismissively. “He keeps scribbling something. They say he’s writing stories about men and women.”

When Naalukettu won the Kerala Sahitya Akademi Award while MT was still in college, the Rs 500 prize money was instantly handed to his father. The money helped reclaim a piece of property that had been pledged. In his later years, MT found solace in being able to care for his father in his final days.