Mother's Day: Why some moms can't connect with their newborns

We often hear of distressing incidents where new mothers attack, abandon or harm their newborns and it often prompts the question – How could a mother do it? In a society that has placed the role of a mother on a pedestal, it's difficult for many people to understand how women could be in a mental space to harm their children. 'Such tendencies were never there in the past' is another stray comment that's often thrown around in any discussion on post-partum issues. On Mother's Day, which falls today, we must understand better about the condition, how to handle it and more.

Postpartum disorders
Postpartum disorders encompass various psychological conditions afflicting mothers after childbirth, including postpartum blues (baby blues), postpartum depression, and postpartum psychosis. Postpartum blues affect roughly half the number of women, occurring 3-4 days after the delivery and subsiding within 10-14 days. Symptoms include anxiety, irritability, and confusion. As the days go by, the intensity will also decrease. This condition usually remits itself within two weeks. Meanwhile, postpartum depression is experienced by women after delivery. It can last for weeks or months. This condition is seen in 10-20% of mothers and it is more intense than the postpartum blues that mothers go through. Postpartum psychosis, a rare and severe condition occurring in one or two mothers per 1,000 deliveries, poses significant risks of suicide, infanticide, and harm to partners. Treatment that addresses severe depression, agitation, confusion, and sleep disturbances is imperative.

How to detect the condition
A person undergoing such a condition will lack interest in anything. There may also be problems in her relationship with the baby. She may experience feelings of guilt, frustration, and the misconception that she is not a good mother. They may also experience loss of appetite, changes in body weight, sleep patterns, and fatigue. Some mothers may exhibit delusions of child abduction or denial of maternity. There may also be concern about the child's physical characteristics. Suicidal tendencies and occasional mentions of it are to be addressed promptly. They may also display physical symptoms such as headaches and body pains.

What causes these problem?
Biological factors, including hormonal fluctuations, family history of depression, injuries, infections, breastfeeding challenges, alcohol consumption, smoking, and even miscarriage, can trigger postpartum disorders. There are also a couple of psycho-social-cultural factors that lead to it, which are:
1) Low self-esteem and personality disorders
2) Lack of interest in becoming a mother and unwanted pregnancy
3) Incompatibility with partner
4) Lack of support from husband, family and friends
5) Stressful events during pregnancy
6) Transition of life to a different culture and society
7) Desire to have a child of the expected gender
8) Past incidents of mother being assaulted, sexual exploitation in the past
9) Absence of husband during pregnancy and childbirth

Do fathers suffer from postpartum depression?
Many fathers go through similar situations after the birth of their baby. It is just that many people do not know this. This is called postpartum paternal depression. Fathers also go through many stages of the mother's experience, starting with whether his wife is a good mother and whether she can take care of the child properly.

The remedy is in the word
A helping hand from a partner or family is enough for each mother to navigate the postpartum phase without any problems. However, many people in the society do not know such things. Couples who get to interact for only two or three minutes in a gynaecologist's busy consulting room will not have any knowledge about such things. Many of the doctors in a busy schedule do not tell them about such things. Health workers too do not pay attention to these matters. Such a situation makes many mothers guilty of crimes. Tragedies occur and as a consequence, mothers are brought before the court and suffer punishment. The reality is that the loss of one's child will haunt the woman for the rest of her life.

Such problems can be avoided by convincing the mothers that postpartum problems are a common condition that is transient. They should be educated about postpartum stages during the pregnancy itself. They should share their mental situation with their family, partner and friends. They must share with their partners when they have thoughts about suicide or other such drastic actions. In short, communicate more, and ensure proper rest and diet. Avoid sitting alone. Take part in various functions and rituals in the community if they bring them joy. Seek help from health professionals or psychiatrists when necessary. Many problems can be avoided through mere consultation. Advanced treatments such as shock therapy are not required in most cases.
(Information courtesy: Dr. Damodaran Namboothiri Valloor)