Nisha Jose K Mani is in the headlines after the release of her memoir, 'The Other Side of This Life.' The twenty-third chapter of her book, titled 'A VIP Train Story' describes her bitter experience during a train journey. She claims in the book that she was assaulted by someone who introduced himself as the son of a prominent person. The narrative has taken Kerala by storm, to the extend that Shone George, son of Poonjar MLA PC George, filed a complaint against Nisha for painting him in bad. In the wake of the controversy, Onmanorama catches up with Nisha Jose. Excerpts from an exclusive interview:
How long have you been preparing to write a memoir?
I didn't start writing with the intention to publish it as a book. I maintain a notebook where I jot down everything that touches my heart. My children had released a manuscript magazine compiling their experiences, stories and poems related to nature, back when they were kids. I wrote that down in a notebook. I had made friends with a man who sold tapioca. I called him Kappa Appachen. It makes one of the initial chapters of my book. All my experiences and memories have certain aspects in common - sheer innocence, curiosity, and instances of self-realisation. Marriage did not change my life but Joe (Jose K Mani) becoming an MP did. Joe has always been a busy man. The silent connect I maintain with Joe wherever he is could be due to the emotional stability and maturity I acquired when he is missed for long. This made a strong, independent woman out of me. That is the reason why I combined some of my experiences and memories of married life into a book.
Your allegation that a 'politician's son' assaulted you during a train journey has given rise to a huge controversy…
I have not said a 'politician's son' anywhere in my work. Also, I have not said that anywhere outside. I described him as a lean man who introduced himself as the son of a prominent person. I have not revealed the identity of the person and I don't intend to do it. It is my right to privacy. ‘Me Too’ campaign is not intended to pin the assaulter, get him arrested or paint the person in bad light. It aims at lending a comforting message to the assault survivors that they are not alone in this society. I am sure that I am not the only woman who has faced a sexual assault verbally or physically. Many don't open up on that. I chose to share my experience so that women learn to survive such instances and overcome all fear and stigma. This incident happened long ago when my children were kids and I was traveling alone after work. If I wished to get that assaulter arrested, I would have done it back then. I, as a politician's spouse, have learnt to forgive but not forget. That is exactly the reason why I included that incident in my memoir without mentioning the person's name or identity.
Shone George has filed a complaint against you for defaming him and the director-general of police has responded to his complaint. Don't you think the issue grew worse than you imagined?
Who said that the assaulter is he? Did I? I haven't named Shone George or any other person. The PC George family's abuse of my family members pained me deeply. However, the police cannot register the case unless I move the court with a complaint. So, their legal moves aren't going to affect me. I have been watching all the controversies silently, because I don't want people to take up the issue and brand it politically. I don't think the speculations about the assaulter or calling my action a publicity stunt come from society's aversion to women who call out for a change. It is all politically driven. This is not the first time I have encountered such allegations. Some people post photographs of my social activities on social media and called it publicity stunts. Interestingly, my social activities did not begin after I joined the KM Mani family. I used to visit the elderly, help the poor and assist people reach their destinations on hartal days right from my teenage. But after my husband became an MP, everything I do started being called ‘publicity stunts.’ Had I been one interested in publicity, you would have noticed me far before I got married to Joe. And no, I don't need to market my book through assault allegations. I have other livelihood avenues, independent of my parents or my husband who is a politician.
Do you plan to make a political entry in future?
Now this is one question I encounter every time I stand up for a public cause. I believe that being a politician's wife itself contributes very much to the process of nation building. Life is not easy as a politician's wife. You need to manage all aspects of your family life just to free your husband of personal engagements – this ensures his peace of mind and lets him serve the nation. I am a deep-sea diver. I love long drives. Had I been one who constantly bugs my husband and asks him to be available for dinners, movie dates or family functions, he can never be the same. Joe is a person who is as strong as a rock and as calm a sea. I believe he stays so because there is a strenuous me running around in and out of our home. The most important part is to not lose yourself while serving all needs of your family. I have my own priorities, interests and social life while being a responsible homemaker. I wish to continue my humble acts of social service. I don't think I need the backing of a political ideology for that. So, I need not enter politics to serve people.
How did your family respond to your book and your narrative of assault on train?
Most of the incidents in the book are familiar to my family members. When I got back after that train journey, I narrated the whole incident to my husband. Joe understood the gravity of situation and stayed by my side. As I have mentioned in my book, some would think that I was overreacting to an accidental touch of a gentleman. But if the touch was accidental, the 'gentleman' would have apologized right away and moved from my side. The person did not do that. People have been asking me why I did not slap the assaulter or call out for help. Let me tell you, being a strong woman does not mean a display of her physical strength. If you are strong, you will be able to talk the issue out. I chose to be that strong woman.
And when you call a family supportive, it means all family members value your decision. Had Joe or Achachen (KM Mani) proceeded legally against my will, that is not respect they are giving me but sheer violation of my right to privacy. Instead, they stayed by me and allowed me to decide how to get over it. I am long over it and have forgiven the assaulter though I didn't forget him.
What are your plans, both in literature and social work?
I will definitely continue writing down my experiences and memories. If ever a sequel is published to this book, I would dedicate it to the 'spouses' of all the politicians. I dedicate this book to the 'wives' of the politicians. I wrote this from my own perspective. But when I thought about it later, I was reminded of many strong women who are eminent political leaders and their husbands who offer constant support and love to them. The fine chemistry between Shanimol Usman and her husband has always amused me. One Kerala politician whom I admire is Rosamma Punnoose who visited my paternal home once when I was a child and sat on our couch with a graceful expression of power and self-respect. I shall not forget their spouses who managed their family against all odds and allowed their partners to serve nation.
On the social front, I recently started a programme to give away artificial limbs to the needy. I will continue to engage in such acts. I haven't yet planned anything big.
What is your biggest source of strength that keeps you calm through hard times?
Joe. My husband has always been my biggest source of strength. It is not that he supports me or consoles me through my hard times but lets me be myself and never interferes in my decisions. I think the biggest thing a spouse can do is to let one be him/herself. Every person has a strong little self deep inside his/her heart. Once you discover it, you'll start dismissing all external sources of support which makes you dependent.
