Mohanlal with Kavalam (L) and Mohanlal in 'Karnabharam'I am in Hyderabad, a city that evokes the memories of Kavalam Narayana Panicker in a strange way.
The first memory is dreamlike. The next one is painful.
The day I got a national award for Vanaprastham, he called me unexpectedly. I was elated.
He told me that National School of Drama head Ramgopal Bajaj would meet me in Delhi when I went there to receive the award. He did not say the purpose of the meeting though.
Bajaj wanted me to perform at the national drama festival organized by the NSD. I felt honored as an actor.
I met Kavalam when I returned to Thiruvananthapuram. I told him we could do an English play, or a Malayalam one. What he had in mind was a Sanskrit play. I told him that I never learned the language but he would not budge. He said I could do it and I had to agree. His words were so powerful. I felt a director's confidence in those words.
He recorded the play and sent it to me. I was in Hyderabad then. I learned it day and night.
I do not even know how Kavalam found the theatre actor in me, recollects MohanlalThe play was two hours long. I was worried about performing it without errors before an audience who knew Sanskrit well. When I think of it now, I really do not know how it happened.
The organizers asked me to perform again after two hours. We later presented the play in the Shanmukhananda Hall and Leela Hotel in Mumbai. We never faltered anywhere and we had the blessings of our master to thank for. I do not know how I could perform in a language, which I never learned. I do not even know how Kavalam found the theatre actor in me. Our minds were so close.
I met him last a month ago. He was weak but he spoke with such energy that I felt hopeful. He told me to perform 'Vikramorvasheeyam'. I agreed.
A still from the playI am in Hyderabad when news breaks that he is no more. I learned 'Karnabharam' when I was staying in Hyderabad. Every evening, I would recite to him what I learned in the day. I felt the master's presence even though he was only the sound on the other end of the line. I have felt the presence of a guru in very few people.
I bow before the guru as an actor and as a disciple. He is a rare light in my acting career. That light would lead me even after his death.
