'We are just happy to be together. Living our life the way we want is exhilarating.'
Seven months after a landmark court verdict, Adhila Nasarin and Fathima Noora are savouring the freedom they fought hard for.
The lesbian couple who are now proud owners of two dogs - a Rottweiler 'Tiger' and a Belgium Malinois 'Yoga' - can't stop beaming while speaking about their life today.
These young women created ripples of change in Kerala's conservative society last year with their famous legal battle in the Kerala High Court. High-school sweethearts Adhila and Fathima were separated by their families when they decided to pursue a life together after college.
When Fathima was taken away by her parents, Adhila took refuge in the arms of the law and filed a habeas corpus to win her partner back. And on May 2022, the Kerala HC allowed them to reunite.
Besides giving the couple a legal sanction and endorsement, the court's verdict also served as an inspiration to the LGBT community who live in the shadow of fear, ignominy and societal stigmatisation.
As the new year approaches, Onmanorama caught up with the couple to know more about their day-to-day struggles and aspirations.
“The best part about our life now is that we are not feeling pressured. As girls, we faced a lot of restrictions in our lives. We are finally happy to be making our own decisions,” the couple said.
Unsolicited advice and cyberbullying
But their life is riddled with day-to-day struggles, including cyber-attacks. The duo has a wide follower base on social media with their Instagram handles @noora_adhila and @adhila_noora having over 38.1K and 36.7K followers, respectively.
“Before the court verdict, we faced opposition from just our families. But after the ruling, we received both positive and negative responses from society,” said Adhila.
When the couple opened up about their struggles to the media, their relationship, which was known only to their families, was suddenly brought under the glare of the public eye. Unsolicited pieces of advice by cyber bullies have been haunting them ever since.
“Cyberbullying is constant. People attack us on a day-to-day basis. They accuse us of hurting our parents and curse us in the name of religion. Their sole objective is to spread hatred,” Fathima said.
“People send us hurtful messages in the name of religion. Religions are meant to be peaceful but religious people are not always so,” added Adhila.
Psychotherapist Shibili Suhanah said this confirms the societal behaviour detailed by American anthropologist Gayle S Rubin in his essay on 'charmed circle'.
“Only normative couples who are in a heterosexual relationship for procreation will be accepted by the society. Homosexuals, intercaste, and interreligious couples do not fall under the charmed circle. Adhila and Noora tend to face a lot of backlash from society due to this,” said Shibili.
But the psychotherapist expressed happiness in the fact that the couple's case has initiated conversations about the LGBTQ community.
“Their example has given a lot of strength to homosexuals in the Muslim community. They are an inspiration to people who go through a lot of dysphoria in accepting who they are,” she said.
“Unfortunately, these legal sanctions still do not guarantee their safety. It is scary how far humans can go to impose their own beliefs on other people,” she said.
Though aware of the lurking dangers, the couple is happy to have kick-started important conversations in society. Adhila and Fathima have helped many homosexuals develop confidence in the law and order of the state.
“A cancer patient approached us a few days back at the hospital. She said that she was inspired by our story. Similarly, many girls and housewives text us that they are not satisfied with their lives,” said Fathima.
“Everyone should be able to live with a partner of their choice irrespective of their gender. What they do within that relationship is nobody's business since the details of a heterosexual relationship are also not anyone's concern,” Shibili said.
The couple's activities on social media have garnered a better reception for the LGBTQ community in society at large. Their quick, witty replies to cyber trolls have earned them wide responses from the digital community.
“Social media helps in educating a lot of people who are not aware of the community. But for people who are unwilling to accept the facts, there's nothing much we can do,” Adhila said.
“We don't really care much about those who take the effort to create fake accounts to launch a cyber attack,” Fathima quipped.
'Build career, help others'
Unfazed by the cyber attacks, the couple hopes to help like-minded individuals in the future.
“Our immediate goal is to pursue higher education and build our career. But once we are settled we'd like to help those in need,” the couple said in unison.
The happy couple is a testimony of how Kerala society has set the ball rolling in the right direction for the LGBTQ+ community.
But a long list of reforms remains to be implemented, they said. Legalisation of marriage, gender-neutral government forms and gender-neutral toilets were among the top concerns listed by the couple when it came to government reforms.
“A non-binary friend recently faced a bad experience while using a public toilet. They were asked to leave the ladies' toilet,” Adhila said.
They are peeved that hospitals and other institutions still demand their father's or spouse's name while filling in important forms.
As they stride into the New Year, Adhila and Noora dream of a day when same-sex is legalised in India and their paternity no longer defines their identity.