Children need friendships in order to expand their social skills. Ironically, the problem with the current society is that children are being led into problems because of their friendships.
Such friendships are behind gangs that rob, maim and indulge in activities that do not have the sanction of the society. Some form gangs and try to get away from their surroundings. Some go- never to return- while others take refuge in drugs and substances. Some cut classes and roam around in shopping malls. Some children, enticed by those who feign love, are pushed into a mess from where coming back to normal life is difficult.
We often see children taking the first deviant step goaded by acquaintances they barely know. Such kids do not have the strength of character to say ‘no’ to an acquaintance that compels and goads them to take the wrong path. They fail to understand that a true friend guides and never compels and when group dynamics take charge, they forget or evade their inner calls of wisdom and care.
All this happens because parents are career focussed these days and feel that their prime responsibility is to train kids to achieve a lucrative career. Under such an objective-oriented parenthood, children often miss a chance to open up their minds to their parents. Conversely, parents do not have time to read a sullen face or perceptibly-different behaviour in kids; Parenthood kicks into action only when school grades drop below optimal. They forget their primary responsibility of making their children good individuals. Soft skills and life skills are becoming mere subjects in schools and children are missing out on assimilating them from home where ideally they are most easily obtained and studied.
The home is the primary school that teaches children to maintain integrity, honesty and goodness in life. This would help them to face deceit and treachery, which is unfortunately increasing in the world around them. Only when parents are good observers and teachers can they intervene when their wards are passing on their deviance to others, or vice versa. While parents cannot avoid their children from interacting with classmates who tempt, they can easily raise children who can advice their friends from taking the wrong path. They can easily create young men and women of character who can mentor others.
Parents should not ignore problems associated with other children as something that would never affect them. They should not also take pride in supposedly having become a good parent, considering the amount of money they are spending for their kids' education and bringing up. Parents should have the basic skill to understand their kids if they have to be effectively ring-fenced from bad company. They need to develop the confidence in their kids that they would be heard at home whatever the problem is. Else, kids would be tempted to believe what others say and they might take a path from where there is no return.
(The author is a psychiatrist)