Why Manoj Bajpayee once thought of suicide

Post Sushant Singh Rajput's shocking death, artists from Bollywood have been opening up about their struggles. And for someone like Manoj Bajpayee, who hails from Bihar, it wasn't an easy ride in Bollywood.

The actor recently talked to Humans of Bombay about his journey in Bollywood and revealed how he, a farmer's son from Bihar, made hs own mark in the industry.

In the post, Manoj mentioned that right from the age of 9, he wanted to be an actor.

"I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar, with 5 siblings we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny. But I couldn’t afford to dream & continued my studies. Still, my mind refused to focus on anything else, so at 17, I left for DU. There, I did theatre but my family had no idea. Finally, I wrote a letter to dad, he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! (sic)," he said.

He added, "People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye. I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi, Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted (sic)."

Manoj also revealed that he struggled for four years before he started making a living through acting.

He wrote, "All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly. But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episode, my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’. That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else (sic)."

Manoj received the National Film Award for Best Supporting Actor in 2000 for Sathya and in 2005 he got special jury award for Pinjaar. He is known for his iconic roles in films like Kaun, Shool , Zubeidaa, Road and more. In 2019, he was honoured with the Padma Shri for his contribution to art and cinema. 

Last year, he got wide applauds for his web series 'The Family Man'.